I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
