Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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