Well douche your snatch and let's go!
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
