Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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