How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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