he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
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