We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
