I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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