you have to choose: penises or morals?
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
