...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
