just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
