I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
