Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
