So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I want to have your abortion
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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