The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
