office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Barsexuality is the new black.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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