she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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