you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
