maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize