don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
We have started to decorate penises.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Randomize
