Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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