It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
