it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
