i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
