bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
