I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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