How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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