i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
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