I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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