You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
