Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
