i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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