im about as happy as oj after his trial
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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