i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
