I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
