I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
