And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
