super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
