Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
