question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Randomize
