Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
