Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
