You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
