Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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