I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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