It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
