if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
We need to feng shui this bitch.
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