I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
