i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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