Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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