I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Randomize
