you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
