Where are you?
In a non slutty way
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
