Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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