It's Friday. Sex?
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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