i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
