My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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