road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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