Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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