Fuck appropriateness.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Randomize
