he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
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I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
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Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize