i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Randomize
