She said her name was "party"
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
