I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Bring me that man meat
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
