the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
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