Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (845): I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News. http://tfl.nu/qk7t
  Replies (86) Good night (4686) Bad night (1025)
• Favorite

  (719): View more from Colorado

  If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (719): If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks. http://tfl.nu/p2ad
  Replies (25) Good night (4655) Bad night (933)
• Favorite

  (941): View more from Florida

  still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (941): still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break http://tfl.nu/6afp
  Replies (9) Good night (4430) Bad night (652)
• Favorite

  (870): View more from Arkansas

  Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (870): Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask? http://tfl.nu/y41y
  Replies (17) Good night (6146) Bad night (854)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE http://tfl.nu/bmko
  Replies (7) Good night (3734) Bad night (828)
• Favorite

  (810): View more from Michigan

  Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (810): Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor. http://tfl.nu/mqcd
  Replies (8) Good night (1779) Bad night (560)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night" http://tfl.nu/srds
  Replies (3) Good night (1213) Bad night (686)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (704): To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast. (704): Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger! http://tfl.nu/sya3
  Replies (8) Good night (1350) Bad night (570)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (315): how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested. http://tfl.nu/auq3
  Replies (2) Good night (657) Bad night (803)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (406): I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation http://tfl.nu/qkc0
  Replies (6) Good night (1270) Bad night (715)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits http://tfl.nu/kxc9
  Replies (11) Good night (1573) Bad night (460)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Do you know how to give stiches?

  (1-612): View more from Minnesota

  I do not...this text concerns me

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (612): Do you know how to give stiches? (1-612): I do not...this text concerns me http://tfl.nu/8jm1
  Replies (5) Good night (1622) Bad night (533)
• Favorite

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (604): I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now http://tfl.nu/aqb9
  Replies (11) Good night (1823) Bad night (418)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (815): It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend. http://tfl.nu/9c86
  Replies (3) Good night (497) Bad night (245)
• Favorite

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (479): Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success http://tfl.nu/iacd
  Replies (0) Good night (782) Bad night (181)

Randomize