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• (719): View more from Colorado

  wanna go halves on a baby?

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• (413): View more from Massachusetts

  All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.

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• (213): View more from California

  I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie

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  27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (918): View more from Oklahoma

  As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"

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• (845): View more from New York

  This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.

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• (859): View more from Kentucky

  heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"

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• (949): View more from California

  Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.

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  23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (770): View more from Georgia

  Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.

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• (540): View more from Virginia

  I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic

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• (253): View more from Washington

  she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.

  (206): View more from Washington

  so that's what that room is for...

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• (816): View more from Missouri

  think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off

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