Texts From Last Night

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  (734): View more from Michigan

  i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.

  (1-734): View more from Michigan

  what was she crying about?

  (734): View more from Michigan

  i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.

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  (734): i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle. (1-734): what was she crying about? (734): i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job. http://tfl.nu/fomm
  Replies (47) Good night (14610) Bad night (1838)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table

  (804): View more from Virginia

  by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?

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  (919): its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table (804): by asking you if you bought one for the apartment? http://tfl.nu/5ql8
  Replies (6) Good night (2565) Bad night (574)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco

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  (815): Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco http://tfl.nu/bj4m
  Replies (61) Good night (3235) Bad night (1465)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.

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  (314): I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle. http://tfl.nu/i8jn
  Replies (35) Good night (4692) Bad night (864)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.

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  (214): Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand. http://tfl.nu/s680
  Replies (13) Good night (1229) Bad night (4538)
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  (661): View more from California

  new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.

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  (661): new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what. http://tfl.nu/4g32
  Replies (27) Good night (5590) Bad night (1435)
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  (805): View more from California

  we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home

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  (805): we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home http://tfl.nu/wods
  Replies (17) Good night (1018) Bad night (7876)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting

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  (301): There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting http://tfl.nu/c2mi
  Replies (5) Good night (2483) Bad night (1249)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.

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  (617): I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B. http://tfl.nu/c1l3
  Replies (4) Good night (1146) Bad night (2842)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.

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  (715): I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers. http://tfl.nu/5ulf
  Replies (3) Good night (2254) Bad night (862)
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  (438): View more from Quebec

  Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it

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  (438): Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it http://tfl.nu/s0ms
  Replies (10) Good night (717) Bad night (3409)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.

  (1-406): View more from Montana

  That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.

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  (406): You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands. (1-406): That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples. http://tfl.nu/g6g8
  Replies (10) Good night (860) Bad night (2515)
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  (650): View more from California

  Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america

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  (650): Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america http://tfl.nu/igww
  Replies (8) Good night (1794) Bad night (509)
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  (916): View more from California

  It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?

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  (916): It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you? http://tfl.nu/y550
  Replies (2) Good night (1006) Bad night (350)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.

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  (319): I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester. http://tfl.nu/qs45
  Replies (10) Good night (843) Bad night (404)

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