Texts From Last Night

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  (407): View more from Florida

  is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?

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  (407): is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town? http://tfl.nu/vkff
  Replies (35) Good night (739) Bad night (2060)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.

  (716): View more from New York

  i dont this its possible to queef on command.

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  (630): bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face. (716): i dont this its possible to queef on command. http://tfl.nu/u9ov
  Replies (90) Good night (1055) Bad night (2971)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.

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  (813): Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear. http://tfl.nu/hyjr
  Replies (20) Good night (838) Bad night (6575)
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  (478): View more from Georgia

  tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid

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  (478): tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid http://tfl.nu/h4uf
  Replies (9) Good night (3597) Bad night (636)
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  (415): View more from California

  had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon

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  (415): had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon http://tfl.nu/bpcz
  Replies (8) Good night (3150) Bad night (1008)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?

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  (701): how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am? http://tfl.nu/mmwh
  Replies (6) Good night (3728) Bad night (993)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months

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  (919): I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months http://tfl.nu/8o8f
  Replies (10) Good night (3061) Bad night (3756)
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  (310): View more from California

  Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes

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  (310): Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes http://tfl.nu/a2gi
  Replies (4) Good night (1713) Bad night (1082)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?

  (480): View more from Arizona

  I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.

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  (412): How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home? (480): I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk. http://tfl.nu/69on
  Replies (2) Good night (753) Bad night (336)
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  (716): View more from New York

  I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.

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  (716): I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast. http://tfl.nu/84uw
  Replies (0) Good night (487) Bad night (314)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.

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  (740): Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls. http://tfl.nu/nbbw
  Replies (19) Good night (471) Bad night (1090)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?

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  (603): What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time? http://tfl.nu/dfic
  Replies (12) Good night (298) Bad night (898)
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  (915): View more from Texas

  Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.

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  (915): Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance. http://tfl.nu/naye
  Replies (0) Good night (367) Bad night (148)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable

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  (303): If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable http://tfl.nu/85jq
  Replies (0) Good night (283) Bad night (475)
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  (352): View more from Florida

  A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text

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  (352): A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text http://tfl.nu/2s6y
  Replies (3) Good night (348) Bad night (122)

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