You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
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the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
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Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend