just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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